Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Zahir

Mohabbat mein nahin hai farq jeene aur marne ka, usi ko dekhkar jeete hain, jis qafir pe dam nikle…

My mind is restless today and I cannot write. I’ve taken a few attempts to unleash the strong emotional urge that I feel, but perhaps the intellectual vent that facilitates correct interpretation of sentiments and thereby enables a suitable expression isn’t wide enough to hold the gush. Needless to say, it’s spilling all over.
So if you can forgive my cluttered thoughts and worse still, the spillage of disjointed words and phrases like one in a fit of literary delirium, you may go on reading. By now, I may have tickled your curious instincts enough…oh, no…trust me, I am not trying in the least to follow the bandwagon of a Thursday night television soap from Balaji Telefilms…no flashy reverberations building up on ‘kahani ka aglaa twist’…I am merely trying to gauge the intensity of my propelling idiosyncrasies and sieving the clichéd from the novel. Whether I am successful or not, well…that’s another question!
Ironically, my inspiration is also my reason for confusion at this moment and it is called….love… an untamed force that enslaves me every time I try to imprison it. Does it happen to you as well? Love to me, is the omnipotent dream merchant’s biggest sellout! See how we fall in love, we falter, we fail; we console ourselves with “It must have been love but it’s over now…” only to find a new reason to fall in love and you’ll know exactly what I mean. No amount of heartburn is good enough to stop you or me from buying the next dream. Incorrigible romantics, aren’t we?
Before you start assuming that I have turned into a self-accredited love guru, let me tell you a wee bit more about what’s raiding my thoughts. A good friend of mine authored a paperback called that thing called love some years ago. The book hit the bestseller’s list instantly (am told it’s being translated in other languages and will be made into a film soon) and made him quite a star amongst promising young Indian authors. Am I promoting him? No, I am just trying to lead you to the fact that ‘love’ an emotion that is old as time itself, still manages to creep into our so-called seemingly busier-than-ever-lives and steal the heart and soul, and if I may be allowed to add…pockets away. Love sells; and it sells like politics, sex and glamour. We all know about it, live it, love it or hate it, but we buy it nonetheless.
Yet, do we all really know what we know? As I am looking at this paperback, I tell myself, my bible for this particular emotion, is however not this bestseller. It’s a beautiful compilation of thoughts called The Zahir by Paulo Coelho, my holy grail for life's most beautiful yet most painful experiences, one that leaves me fulfilled yet empty at the same time.
You are your best judge, but this thing called love and its unfamiliarity makes me nervous. It is wild and instinctive, with the rawness instantly reminding me of a bleeding cut, one that stares blatantly at your face and tells you..."Be careful here, it hurts". And I strive to fight against that instinct, strangely though hoping against hope that I won't win, until there comes a point when I allow myself to be vanquished by my overpowering enemy, my unconstrained outburst of bottled up emotions.
This thing called love, I don’t like it at collates all the self contradictory weaknesses and strengths, amalgamates them in an illogical cement, and puts up a self promoting placard akin to a popular ad slogan that says....Dare to dream.
And while my battle for rationale continues, another part of me, the less calculative, less scientific, less scheming alter ego, lounges in the tranquility of this upheaval. Sounds paradoxical? Perhaps! Let me's like being in the eye of the storm, letting the eddies form, lash, whip, bellow around you, while you stay inert, untouched....that eye of the tornado is my love absolute, my obsession with the concept of one, its manifestation in life and its interpretation in you, .....that is my Zahir.
While I might go into another maelstorm of oscillating logic and emotions on another day, right now I'll rather cherish this thought and live happily with the truth thus... ruuh ke bandhan khulte nahin hain, daag hai dilke dhuulte nahin hain..
With and within you...

PS: It's raining again...and you know what? I just knew it would...


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Brilliant blog-post.
    ...few less "I"s will make it a world class article.

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. Am in the middle of reading The Zahir and while the book makes you think more than read, it has been a bit of a downer for me at times and that is not because I am not enjoying it, but because true to its title, it is making me unravel my own Zahir.

    Therein lies the beauty of this piece of literature by Coelho,and what you write my dear. Love in any form is beautiful but the one that becomes your own Zahir is the one that resonates with your soul. The more I am reading that book, the more I realize, my absolute love is a calm permanence rather than a blinding tornado. So to me that thing called love is an everlasting, ever fulfilling experience of being and having an anchor in one's life.

    Yup, familiarity of that feeling is what is truly comforting, although the ebb and flow of emotions that lead to that familiarty are exciting nonetheless. Loved this post coz this one made me think and realize, the Alchemist is what the soul ordered... the Zahir merely confirmed that :)

  5. Arguably ur best...exceptional ending...kudos is all I can say

  6. Awesome! You write with the flawlessness of an editor, the imagination of a dreamer and the sponteinity of a poet.Keep it going, girl. U have a long way to go..

  7. exceptionally good.......infact all that you have written so far makes me think and I can relate to it......keep it up

  8. i connected 2 every word u said ananyadi... every thought in thr is so uncannnily familiar...
    loved readin thru it... plz keep th posts cmin..

  9. It's a lovely piece of writing re:-)Waiting for more!

  10. great imagination and the words stitched together well...fluid flow..great going annie!

  11. superb flow and kept me guesing where this was your last line..great style and nice use of words...

  12. Emotions are strong currents which either glide or wipe you across open air, your writing brings around a storm yet the breeze is gentle...admire the whole scenario...:)

  13. Emotions are strong currents, which either glide you or whip you across the open air....your writing has the intensity of the storm yet the breeze is so caressing...loved the flow of the whole scenario..:)